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In our everyday lives, communication is almost
as essential as breathing, whether we like it or
not. Modern technologies and the ever growing web
are making communication around the world possible
in a matter of seconds. Why is interpersonal
exchanges so unproductive then? Why is there more
misunderstanding and divorces than ever? Part of
the answer is that in our stressful, ever rapid
changing society, we have forgotten the art of
communication.
The first important step in communication is
looking at the person you are trying to communicate
with. Look for all those non-verbal clues and you
will discover how the person is really receiving
the message you are giving her. The body
language is way more true than the words
spoken. If a person says:"Yes, I am feeling good"
with a grin on her face, her subconscious mind is
reaching out to you. I have very often reflected
the non-verbal messages I was picking-up from my
patients. It always turned out to be a
manifestation of their true feelings. They were
very relieved to be able to open-up once I showed
my receptivity.
This is the reason if a person is with another
person, a prolonged cell phone conversation with
other people just spells out;"You are not that
important to me. I would rather talk about
futilities with this remote person."...so close
your cell phones if you are already with
someone.
Next, it has been described that people prefer
certain communication modes more than others. A
person who likes to see things is said to function
more on a visual mode. For example, if I buy an
e-book, I always have to print it and see it on
paper. I also learn way more efficiently if I write
the material I have to learn. Visual persons will
express themselves with expressions like; "Nice to
see you. Let's be clear on that. I get the picture.
", etc. Let's say for example that you start paying
attention and you find out that your superior at
work operates more on a visual pattern. You can use
this knowledge whenever you address him a report or
a note by providing him with colourful graphics and
always leave him a printed version of what you have
told him so he can look at it later.
Second, some people are said to be more
auditory. They love to hear stuff.
They usually have expressions like.:"I hear you.
Listen! Life is a sweat melody.",etc. You will have
more success with them by talking and playing with
words.
Other people are said to be
kinesthetic. They learn and
interact with their environment by touching and
feeling the different textures. I realized that
children are naturally kinesthetic when I went to
the flee market with three of my children and I
must have said :"Don't touch!" at least sixty times
in one hour. If you look at babies their whole
world is explored by going through theirs hands,
feet and mouth. We loose this marvellous way of
communicating from all the interdiction around us
and it is sad.. I know that next time I go shopping
with my children, instead of forbidding them to
touch anything, I will touch everything with
them!
There is nothing like a good perfume for an
olfactory person but tastes vary
so much in this area that it is hard to please
everyone.
We do not operate on just one mode but most
people have a mode they favour. Once you know this,
you can create way more productive exchanges with
people around you . Hence, by addressing them on
their favourite mode, you will be able to create a
more efficient communication. This is the reason
why so many children are incorrectly labelled ADD
or ADHD and fed potent drugs. If
only the school systems understood that they would
get a way better success by offering children to
learn on whatever mode they function best. Parents
have a saying on how their children are
thought.
What can YOU get out of all this? First, be
curious and discover your favourite mode of
communication. You can then use this strength to be
more efficient in your work or at home. Then, you
can explore the other modes and open-up to a whole
new world. Next, have fun discovering other
person's dominant mode of communication. Then, you
can use this new knowledge to interact more
efficiently with people around you.
When addressing a crowd, it is best to aim at
reaching the most people possible by having an
auditory presentation, visual material and have
kinesthetic people enjoy themselves by having them
move around or write notes.
Bottom of it all though is :The basis of
communication will always be to look at a person in
the eyes when they are talking and caring
sincerely, it always shows!
Dr Nathalie Fiset is a family doctor, a
certified hypnotherapist and a neuro-linguistic
practitioner . She is the author of the powerful
hypnosis for childbirth program Hypno-
Beginning©. She is currently creating the
powerful Alpha-Power© program for best mental
and physical health with hypnosis. You can learn
valuable information on natural childbirth on her
web site at www.hypno-beginning.com.
You can also consult her other complete and
professional web site on hypnosis for well-being
at: www.aperfectharmony.com.To
be notified when her Alpha Power© program will
be ready, you can subscribe to her newsletter on
the web sites.
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